I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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