I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
