batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
