Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize