there's paper in my vomit.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I will be naked everywhere
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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