Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
