You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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