I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
