I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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