sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
