I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
