Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
