Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just gift wrapped bread.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
