Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
