I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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