I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
