Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
