we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So much rum. So many feels.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize
