You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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