Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
