I CAN MOONWALK!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
