This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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