I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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