well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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