just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
