mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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