you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
