Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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