I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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