but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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