how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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