No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
