Life is so much better after having sex.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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