just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize