I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
