Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
