I accidentally had phone sex last night
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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