I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
