the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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