I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
