i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
