Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
