I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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