I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
