lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i want to swaddle you in tequila
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
