She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
