I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
