Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
