my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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