Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
